Enlightenment

I've been off work for nearly 4 weeks now, and while in the beginning there was lots of appointments I got to the stage where no-one wanted to see me until my ankle had started to heal. And so I've had lots of time at home, alone and feeling sorry for myself. My mother told me there was a message for me in this experience, I just had to find it. And that's exactly what I've been doing. I've spent the past 3wks using my time alone to find myself - because through knowing me and reassessing my life, I've been able to work out what my message is.

Having time to contemplate means I now realise my work-life balance has been out of whack all year and impacting on my family. I have worked hard at my job (collaborative teaching a Year 4/5 class of 34 students), I have worked hard to help my school community (LIFE, Multicultural Festival, Staff Well-being Committee) and I've worked hard to help my students (challenge themselves, discover themselves). Now - all of this is part of my job as a primary school teacher. I know this, my husband knows this, my family knows this. But it's about the extra effort, the extra thought, the extra concern, the extra time that I've put in had this year... this is the part that's worn me down, or taken me away from my family. Not that I noticed it at the time (I just thought my husband was being picky!). Life is funny you know because all of this stuff that I've been working hard for this year, all of the late meetings, the long days, the stress, the concern.. it's all been leading up to Term 3 - to school camp, to the festival, to presentations and professional development, to great units of work. And guess what - I managed to seriously injure myself just before all of my hard work came to fruition. I have missed every. single. event. All of it!

So what's my lesson? Is it that a job is a job, it's not your life? Is it that family should always come first? Is it not to expect too much of people because you only ended up disappointed? Is it not to expect too much of myself? Is it all of the above?

Honestly, I think it's all of the above. And now that I've got the message I need to ...